Executive DISfunction

I’m sure a lot of my fellow auties can relate to the executive funtion issues we can have, so I thought a quick little snippet of my own from this morning might be a funny tale to tell for you all.

I was heading to my dad’s house, and as I was going there, I decided to stop at the shop to get bread and ham for some sandwiches.

I get into the shop and I’m trying to remember what I need. So I look at the bread. They don’t have the loaf I want. So now I’m having an argument in my head that I just want wholemeal. To just get that – it doesn’t need to be the same one as last time. I managed to convince myself because of how much I wanted these ham sandwiches.

Now to the fridge section. I prefer the processed ham for my sandwiches, so that rules out the first few options. Then there’s breaded ham – I don’t like breaded ham. There’s cheese – that’s not ham. There’s no ham. Well, I can’t have ham sandwiches with no ham.

There’s one – oh. I’ve not had this one before… No. You need ham for ham sandwiches, come on, Tuft. Right, no other choices, this ham’ll… Oooo. Chicken burgers. That sounds good too. They only have the two pack? Oh.. Well, I guess I can fit that in. Yes, chicken burger will go with it too.

Now I need a snack. Crisps will be good. Hmm, what have they… Oh! Salt and Malt Vinegar McCoys! I’ll have those. Hmm, but I do love Pickled Onion Space Raiders… I’ll have those too. Best grab two packs of McCoys. Let’s go to the till. Oh, there’s someone being served, I’ll wait here. Where’s my money? Oh, there it is. 

Hmm. What about a Mars bar? Yeah. I’ll have one of those too. Right. Lady in front has been served, let’s put our stuff down. Now what do I do? Cashier’s looking at me.. Umm. Oh! A bag! Let’s bag my stuff. Oh, he’s done scanning? Um… What do I? Oh, money. Now I wait for my change. Get my change, that goes in my purse. In my work bag. What have I forgotten?

Oh! The rest of my shopping. Okay. I have it all now…. What do I do now? I have all of my shopping, my phone, my work bag and purse are zipped. I have my car keys, house keys, and my ID badge for when I go to work later. But I’ve forgotten something. What have I forgotten? 

It must have only been 30-60 seconds, but it felt like so much longer. Going through my checklist about 6 times, and I concede and decide I’ll just go to my dad’s, as I’ve gotten everything. I spend the next few moments just constantly going through the list of actions I’ve done since leaving my house, constantly checking which items I had on me…

I walk to my dad’s, open the front door, and just as I am walking into the hallway, I realised what the missing step in my actions was.

I’d left my car at the shop. D’oh.